In early February, 2018, I was busy looking for something unimportant while standing at my dresser. Oddly, my eyes kept catching a glimpse of the Two Hearts, the Sacred Hearts of Jesus and Mary. On a ring, a medal, a tiny imprint on a very old Holy Card... All of them much too tiny to stand out, yet all were catching my gaze, one after another and right at that busy moment. I was captivated, and wondered why on earth was I all of a sudden seeing the two hearts in so many places before me.
I looked up and asked out loud, “Why am I seeing the two hearts everywhere?” My eyes landed on Her beautiful face in the image on my mirror. Immediately, I felt Her words, deep in my heart, just as clear as though I was actually hearing them. And just as quick as if to answer my question.
“When you say your rosary, hold it to your heart - to bring me closer to my Son.”
I knew this was a message from the Divine, but I didn’t know what to do about it. I decided that I would ponder her words, and trust that their true meaning and what was being asked of me, would be revealed.
At that time I had suffered emotionally, physically and financially following a personal trauma, and had recently been introduced to the life of St. Theresa of Calcutta. Her experiences and mission taught me what real poverty looks like. Her stories and statements enabled me to accept my loss and embrace my new plight in life with both humility and gratitude. Mother Theresa was also teaching me to see Jesus in everyone I see and meet. In fact, I was having great fun finding Jesus in everyone, including in those who do not believe.
Our Creator is amazing!
Perhaps this was key to her message. As I continued to ponder Our Lady’s words to me I thought perhaps she was teaching me to see Jesus in myself, not just others. As a daily communicant, I offered it up to others who couldn’t receive due to location, sin, illness, or whatever; that His love in my heart was all I needed personally. I considered myself very lucky to have the opportunity to attend daily mass. But, like so many of us, I struggled with praying for myself, and could never acknowledge that others could possibly see Jesus in me, like I was seeing in others.
I felt like I had some more pondering to do on this, however.
Early that year I had gone through a period where I deeply felt the pain Mary must have felt during the passion and death of her Son. For nearly two weeks I found myself crying, just sobbing, several times daily, mourning as though I had witnessed the suffering and crucifixion of my own son. I have three.
Never in my 63 years in the faith had I experienced such sadness through personal reflection on the passion of Christ. It wasn’t even Lent!
This followed with a three day period where I deeply felt the pain Jesus, as Mary’s son, must have felt as He looked down from the Cross, seeing His mother and knowing Her pain. My own sons would not want me there. They would do everything they could to protect me from seeing their suffering. My oldest son, 33, had recently gone through a serious illness while in India, and had stayed out of touch until it was over. I told him he should have texted - that I could have been praying for him because that’s what moms do, and we’re very good at it! I said to Jesus, “Your mother wouldn’t have wanted to be anywhere else than at your side, praying.”
That ended those sad days for me. It was the oddest experience. I was glad it ended and I thanked God that Mary was included during those days after the Resurrection which surely must have lifted that pain in them.
Two broken, but Most Sacred Hearts.
I remembered this experience when I pondered Our Lady’s words again. “When you say your rosary, hold it to your heart, to bring me closer to my son.” I decided I was more than delighted to bring the Two of Them together if I could. Mary through the rosary, and Jesus through our hearts, my heart.
